Published April 15, 2008
The colours swirling in the fake mist at our feet,
Our hearts beating in time to the music,
Busting out some funny move for the rest to see,
To dance like you want, is living.
Some back flips and side-to-side twirls,
A hop and a jump for the sky,
A tumble here and a dip over there,
Playing like you want, is living.
A love dies and a heart breaks,
Love blossoms between two who can't be,
A smack to the face for foolishness,
Acting and performing like you want, is living.
You give it your best try and you excel,
You stall and you fall behind,
You go for the plunge of a lifetime,
How you choose your life, is living.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,435 Literary Works • 674,415 Reviews
Awesome, but i agree with them... absolutely. not a thing i would change.
It was good...can't think of any improvements. It was lovely to read and well written
The second and third stanzas cracked me up...they remind me of when I used to be a kid..nice work. I really don't see anything that absolutely needs to be corrected. Perhaps someone else will see something, but this was decent.